5 Phrases That Harm Mental Health at Work (and What to Say Instead)

Mental health at work isn’t just about how many hours someone works — it’s about the emotional environment we build every day. And while many organizations are starting to talk about mental well-being, certain expressions and attitudes remain normalized and, without realizing it, erode trust, well-being, and a sense of belonging.
Some of these phrases may come from good intentions, but they end up causing the opposite: exhaustion, guilt, isolation, or demotivation. The worst part? They’re often so ingrained in the culture that they go unnoticed.
In this article, we explore 5 common phrases that affect emotional health in teams and suggest more empathetic and conscious alternatives that communicate the same message without invalidating others.

1. “That’s how we’ve always done it”

What it communicates: There’s no room for change or new ideas.
Emotional impact: Frustrates those who bring fresh perspectives. Demotivates those who want to innovate. Can lead to silent resignation.
What to say instead: “This is how we’ve done it so far — what do you think? Do you see anything we could revisit?”
This approach validates the team’s history while opening space for dialogue and growth, not blind compliance.

2. “You just have to tough it out”

What it communicates: Suffering is part of the job, and if you can’t handle it, the problem is you.
Emotional impact: Creates guilt, isolation, and overload. Makes people stay silent about their struggles out of fear of being seen as “weak.”
What to say instead: “I know this is hard. How can we support you in handling it better?”
This shift in language doesn’t erase responsibility — it brings realism and compassion into the conversation.

3. “We don’t do drama here”

What it communicates: Emotions are a problem. The ideal is to stay cold, rational, and always functional — even when something hurts.
Emotional impact: Invalidates experiences. Shuts down needed conversations. Stigmatizes those going through hard times.
What to say instead: “If something’s affecting you, I’d like to understand it better. Let’s talk.”
This phrase acknowledges that we work with humans, not robots. It allows space for emotions without creating chaos.

4. “If you really want it, you’ll make it happen”

What it communicates: Success or failure depends solely on individual effort.
Emotional impact: Ignores context, resources, or emotional and personal limits. Sparks comparison, anxiety, and extreme self-pressure.
What to say instead: “What challenges are you facing, and how can we support you?”
Real leadership doesn’t demand the same from everyone — it gives each person what they need to grow.

5. “It’s not about you — it’s about the mission / the Kingdom / the client”

What it communicates: The mission is more important than people. Producing matters more than personal well-being.
Emotional impact: Dehumanizes. Justifies overload and neglect in the name of something “greater.” Leads to emotional burnout and loss of meaning.
What to say instead: “What we do has purpose — and you are a valuable part of that. How are you doing in this season?”
This reframing reminds us that purpose and people aren’t enemies — they can and should sustain each other.

Related: Emotional Intelligence in Leadership: Enhancing Team Morale and Cohesion

Why is changing our language so important?

Because the phrases we repeat every day shape the emotional culture of a workplace.

If we normalize expressions that dismiss, minimize, or invalidate, we end up building environments that hurt — even if no one intends harm.

On the other hand, when we consciously choose words that listen, support, and validate, we begin creating spaces where people feel safe, seen, and motivated to give their best — not out of fear or guilt, but from health, connection, and meaning.

Questions About Mental Health at Work

How can I tell if something I say regularly might be causing harm?
Ask yourself:

• How does the other person react when I say it?
  
• Am I leaving room for them to express themselves?
  
• How would I feel if someone said it to me during a hard moment?
  

Empathetic language is not weak or naive — it’s mature, thoughtful, and effective in the long term.

Related: Why is Emotional Intelligence Important in the Workplace?

Is it inappropriate to talk about mental health in work or faith-based environments?
Not at all. In fact, it’s essential. Mental health is a fundamental part of life. Ignoring it doesn’t make it go away — it only makes it more silent and dangerous.
In faith communities especially, talking about emotional health is a concrete way to love others well.

What if I’ve used these phrases many times already?
The first step is to acknowledge it. The second is to change. No one leads perfectly — but we can all grow in awareness.
The key is learning to say:
“I realize that wasn’t helpful — I’m working on it.”
That kind of honesty also brings healing.

What we repeat daily molds the emotional culture of our teams.
Being mindful of how we speak isn’t a sign of weakness — it’s a mark of healthy leadership.

Start today by replacing closed, dismissive phrases with ones that invite connection:
Swap “You have to tough it out” for “How are you holding up?”
Swap “If you want it, you’ll make it happen” for “How can I support you?”

Because work can be a place of growth — not just exhaustion.
And that begins — once again — with how we speak to one another.